Friday, January 2, 2009

Le Generiq Look

Someone recently asked if I’ve somehow worked in a hospital in Cebu, and the proper response to this, of course, is that I’ve never set foot in Cebu. Apparently, there was this resident who looked exactly like me. I have also been asked by someone three years ago if I’ve held clinic in Pampanga. And I’ve been mistaken for two other batchmates more than once. I can attribute this common mistake, of course, to my remarkably unremarkable generic, boring, non-descript look, but on the greater, cosmic side of things, this is a testament… of how many doppelgangers I have. For what nefarious reason that the bounty hunters oozing green blood should copy me, of all people, I have no idea, but for one second they might have thought that I am, ahem, Mulder. I have experienced this first hand. Eight years ago I was watching a movie in a rather empty UP Film Center in Diliman, and out of boredom I looked around and saw someone who looked quite like me. He saw me, and immediately fled. Which was foolhardy, since I didn’t have my stiletto weapon handy with which to puncture the base of his skull anyway. All of this crap about alien bounty hunters and doppelgangers and stiletto weapons that sound pffft and stuff is, of course, a reference to the X-Files episodes that feature the alien bounty hunter which commences in the 2nd season two-parter Colony/Endgame! But back to my Cebu doppelganger: I haven’t even been to Cebu, I told the perplexed intern, but I also have doppelgangers in Pampanga and Bulacan and Diliman and…
“God must have created you all at the same time,” intern said, eyes glowing, voice suddenly booming. “God must have created you all at the same time.”
“Er… indeed,” was all I could say.
How pointless, how egotistical, how totally inconsequential for you to talk about your generic look no one cares about and that you should devote an entire blog entry for this worthless, futile effort, and to use pop-culture references to support a flimsy premise, to revel in the nothingness of it all, to extricate meaning where there is none, no doubt a subconscious yearning to be something more important, when what is represented is nothing more than a group of self-ego-constructs deterred from growing—you gaspingly accuse.
All I can say to this: Yes.

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