Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Pervy Porn Peddling Practice

I mentioned in my recently-deceased Friendster blog that for some reason DVD vendors always seem to single me out to secretly peddle hidden porn DVDs. Apparently I am not alone in this, so my porn facies is happily not unique. Them DVD vendors are getting more insistent and marketing-smart, though. The usual technique is they just make some annoying pssst, and as soon as you look at them they would spring out a porn DVD. And they would make a rapid but intricate assessment of your response—if your pupils dilate, if you break into a sweat, if you suddenly develop weird facial tics in excitement. A few months ago they modified their tactics—after a psssst and I instinctively looked Annoying Lecherous Dude sprang out two DVDS, one in each hand: one with a buxom girl doing nasty stuff with her mouth, and one with a muscular guy doing nasty stuff with his mouth. I applaud the improvement in marketing skills, but not quite. What, those are my only options? What about leper midget Nazis? Alliterative anorexic Alaskan amputees? Coprophilic Corporate Columbians? Tyrannical Trannies w/ Three Tits?!? More training! In alliteration!

No comments: