Sunday, April 12, 2009

4 Insights You Can't Possibly Have Any Use For

1. I used to get annoyed at the prospect of people planning major vacations in faraway places during the Holy Week, me quaintly thinking that everyone should be joining a prusisyon or eating ginataan at home while watching Jesus of Nazareth. Then I changed my mind and realized that indeed, for workers all over the country the Holy Week is the only chance for a long R&R. Then I myself worked, and I changed my mind again, believing once again that everyone should suck it up and finish that bland ginataan. Because really, you’re lucky to even get a weekend the entire year, whiners.

2. The DC books have been subpar lately, and I can’t keep making excuses for you, Dan Didio. The only good DC books recently have been Wonder Woman by Gail Simone, the Superman books, and Green Lantern by Geoff Johns. Even Justice Society of America is quite dismal, maybe because the art by Jerry Ordway is quite boring. Teen Titans, crap. Titans, crap. Justice League, pure and utter crap. Even Batman, crap. Final Crisis, crap crap crap! So I rummaged through my old unread Marvel books, and discovered some pretty good stuff, particularly Civil War and The Mighty Avengers. The X-Men books I still can’t get back on—just damn too many mutants. But hope is not all lost, because in June, the dead will rise in… The Blackest Night!!!

3. Cerealicious must have noted nobody cares about their Cereality TV anymore, because we’re sick of watching your success story over and over, so they upped their reading materials which now include a bunch of old FHM’s. In one issue Iwa Moto was the featured semi-nudie, and in the obligatory side-bar interviews she said something like, “It was so like painful and they had to do an exploratory laparotomy on me! Eeeeeeeeek!” Or something to that effect. And yet on the picture, perfect, scar-less abs!

4. So apparently the Wolverine movie got leaked by some insider, and it’s all over torrents and sidewalk DVD’s. Lesla Lar watched a copy of this, and apparently it was still the unedited version—the fight scenes are still happening in front of a green background, and harnesses and strings are still visible. Ryan Reynolds plays a cameo as Deadpool, which begs the question, if there’s Deadpool, is there a Slimer-like floating Doop?

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