Friday, April 3, 2009

Sushi

As it always happens when you’re in a hurry an environmentalist accosts you and makes you feel guilty. Case in point, I was running towards Comic Odyssey in Rob to get the long-awaited Flash: Rebirth #1 which has been released two days ago already it might have totally disappeared off the racks, when some Dude from the WWF approached me and was nice and all and told me stuff about the destroyed coral reefs and stuff. I hate speaking in English in public places as it is very… I don’t know… poser, but Dude started an all-out environmental speech in English, so here is an abridged transcript of the conversation:

Dude: Hi, I’m sure you remember Earth Hour. Did you observe Earth Hour?
Me: Er… yes.
Dude: It’s okay. Come, take a seat. Are you aware that 90% of something something gets destroyed by something something every 5 minutes? Imagine, if in the 1960’s something something…
Me: Hurm...
Dude: And the dolphins are getting decimated. Ever wondered what happened to the dolphins? They were made into dolphin sushi and dolphin burgers!
Me: (genuinely surprised) Dolphin burgers? I eat a lot of burgers all the time, why haven’t I heard of dolphin burgers before? Why hasn’t anyone ever offered me dolphin burgers?
Dude: (clutches chest in feigned MI) Oh my god you’re interested??? Actually (gets a map), dolphin burgers are only available here (points at Negros).
Me: (taking furtive glances at Comic Odyssey just ten feet behind him) Mmmm. Okay, I…
Dude: You can help preserve the environment something something something something just write your VISA mastercard number here…
Me: But it’s too much of a commitment. I need time to think it through.
Dude: It’s okay, a lot of people think this over. So if you want I can fill out this form for you. What’s your name and VISA mastercard number?

The guy’s heart is in the right place, and I think I must have said something showbiz in closing, something like, “I appreciate your passion for your work,” or “But I really need to buy Flash: Rebirth #1. Now.”, but really, this is something I need to ruminate on before signing something or giving my credit card number away. But you have disposable money to even buy Flash: Rebirth #1, you annoyingly say, why can’t you spare twenty bucks a day to save a dying narwhal? Okay, I feel guilty enough, to make up for it I’ll adopt one of those cats in kantunan.

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