Saturday, October 17, 2009

Too Much Drama

Indeed, there is. Too much drama. If this were Survivor that would be one of the reasons why a particular castaway might get voted out—if he is full of too much fucking drama. But then again, we should always think of the ratings, and drama rakes in millions of viewership. And in the hospital setting there is a lot of venue for Infernal Dramatics—everyone always feels that they are the most toxic, or the most abused, or the most overworked; everyone feels like they are not properly compensated, or that the emergency room is too hot, or that there is too much poverty. And poverty—oooh, that opens up doors and doors of opportunity for endless drama. That you have to shell out your own money—lots of dramatic potential there. That the patient comes to the emergency room with only his clothes on and nothing else, that the patient acts all snooty, that the patient is totally evil—infinite drama at its best. And of course when I talk about the dramatics I pertain merely to the complaining and whining and groaning and dramatic pronouncements that go with the situation, and the tendency to create a huge story about everything. And with that, let me quote the most dramatic quotations of the various hospital personalities of the past months.

1. “I’m so hating poverty na!!!”

2. “You’re giving me all the bad schedules just because I’m the single, uninteresting, boring guy in the batch!!!”

3. “Ganun naman talaga eh. Ano ba ang silbi ko sa batch na ito kundi maging isang hamak na punch-liner.”

4. “Don’t you dare!!!”

5. “Hindi ko titignan ang patient just because kilala ko sya. That’s nepotism.”

6. “Mumurahin ko sya. Mumurahin ko sya! Sanay ako magmura dahil bata pa lang ako nagmumura na ako!!!”

7. “Ngayong gabi ako ang pinakamakapangyarihang doktor sa ospital na ito!!!”

8. “Hindi ko alam ang diagnosis nya dahil ang silbi ko lang dito ay mag vital signs!!! Mag VITAL SIGNS!!!”

9. “Ngayong magaling na ang pagkalason mo, gagamutin naman natin ang kabaliwan mo.”

10. “Until she apologizes, I vow never to talk to her ever again!!!”

11. “You mean for all my kebs-ness and total detachment to the department and everything I am still being considered for the position of chief resident? You mean I am just being considered for my… intelligence?!?”

12. “Mommy!!! Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng baby mo pag nagkita kayo sa langit? Na nilaglag mo sya???”

Keep those dramatics coming. We love them.

4 comments:

Pam said...

I am a katutubong Pilipino. I LOVE IT! This is the reason why shows like Startalk thrive. Proud to have it in my own backyard.

Judgmental said...

What did they say about the quadriplegic criminal who is also a PATIENT by the way?

The Commuter said...

Yung #2 parang forever on my mind whenever the Ex-O posts the schedule. Add to that, for the same reason I'm forever assigned to the most toxic, most demanding services, while all others would already be out even before the clock strikes 5!

Bring back memories!

Walking on Water said...

I want to hear more Lowe-isms! Yung may cherie gil, vilma santos, sharon cuneta, etc ang dating!

I remember from our batch: "Nanay wag kang maginarte. Dahil sa ospital na ito, namamalimos ka lang ng awa."

How about this: "And I don't want to hear any complaints. This is a crisis." hehehe