Friday, December 11, 2009

SPF 10,000

And so Djana and I had no choice but to come up with activities—there are more people to disappoint this time, three batches of residents to be exact, if we commanded that the only activities would be sleeping and drinking. To annoy everyone we came up with a horribly difficult obstacle course, and we scheduled it at the beach at 3 in the afternoon when the sun is at its cruelest. We underestimated everyone’s karir mode, as everyone gamely joined the obstacle course after swathing themselves with SPF 10,000. Tora Olafsdotter was the most intense, as he slipped and made ngudngod himself on the sand a few inches before he could transfer the water from his bucket to the pail at the end of course. Instead of wasting time standing up he stayed prostrated on the sand and stretched out his hand to do the final transferring.

Fellowship night came and everyone posed in front of the camera for a photo op. I came as Robin, the Dick Ward 60’s version, the one with just a pair of green briefs on and no long pants. To spare everyone from my horribly hairy thunder thighs I put on a pair of flesh-colored tights underneath. A few days before I lent our househelp my 80’s Super Powers Robin action figure and ordered her to fashion a similar costume. The figure’s green briefs had small corrugations on it, and if you would check the 60’s comic books the briefs really had scales on them. She couldn’t find any scales, so she made the briefs out of sequined green translucent material. The sequins were the only ones keeping the briefs from being totally see through.

It has always been a major dream to wear a superhero costume, and in last year’s PA night while Pam, Tits, Fulet, and Jonds looked really interesting in their X-Men costume I was a lowly back-up dancer in a brown shirt. I didn’t care much about Marvel characters anyway. I finally got this chance, and no one could stop me from becoming a pedophile jail-bait Robin whore. It was the tightest costume, though, as it was fitted on my brother who is half my size. Years after the campy 60’s TV series Batman and Robin starring Adam West and Dick Ward have ended, Ward sued the production company accusing it of turning him sterile after years of wearing those really tight green briefs. I don’t care if I get sterile, I love them shiny green briefs.

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