Thursday, December 16, 2010
When I did win some award and had to speak behind a podium in Shangri-La five years ago I never got to deliver that well-rehearsed speech because of the literary luminaries in front of me, but instead delivered some cliche crap, because really, how could I follow the speech of a guy who just said in front: Ibagsak ang gobyerno!!! To everyone's cheers. Back then Callistus Netromedev told me I should have delivered this speech: To all the Palanca winners here, to all of you established writers with volumes of published books under your belt, to you, to you, and to you: o ano ngayon? I told him I would make the speech next time, but there was never a next time, so they could now gloat.
And so to my delight they gave me the Hyperthermia Award a few days ago. Yes, I am extremely hot I can instantly kill everyone in sight. I am hot. Readers, five minutes to digest that. Or ten hours. Now that you've regained consciousness, read it again: I'm hot. Ya hear that! The hottest. I know, looking like this. This should serve as an inspiration to all troglodytes everywhere, because you can never can tell.
And just in case somebody missed that super important and extremely fun event, let me do my speech again. Imagine me standing from my seat, shaking hands with everyone around me, walking slowly to the podium with tears starting to accumulate in everyone's eyes as the Grammy Song of the Year which I've composed blares in the background. Ready those hankies, ready that orchestra music cue in case my long speech bores you, here goes my speech:
"Thank you. I deserve this."
Pyro: Sure, (sniff sniff, pick nose pick nose, tap tap tap on the screen), will just harvest (cough cough, covers mouth, tap tap with the hand used to cover mouth). Here.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I've thought a few months back that come the end I would probably study harder, get more intense in everything, soak things up more, but as I've told Djanah this morning while we were, er, sweeping the floor, I only feel more... tamad. That's not exactly right, what I feel right now is tamaaaaad na taaaaaamaaaaaaad, because the words have to be drawn out. For more. The first thing I do in the morning as I open my eyes is listen if there is heavy rain outside that would cancel work. Then I would drag--DRAG!!!--my feet to the kadiri bathroom and sit on the bangko and pour cold water over me.. for MORE drama. At work I would nestle in my corner and... read comic books. Or watch Twilight Zone with Tits, Djanah, HIV, Marth, or whoever cares to watch. "Twilight Zone na lang ang dahilan kung bakit ako pumapasok," Djanah expressed.
And since I'm now making a habit of dropping a quote to end my blog entires for more drama effect, let me quote the then unwrinkly Robert Redford from the magnificent Twilight Zone episode Nothing In The Dark. On death he says:
"You see. No shock. No engulfment. No tearing asunder. What you feared would come like an explosion is like a whisper. What you thought was the end is the beginning."
Teardrop teardrop, but the beginning of what? I'll tell you the beginning of what! The beginning of MORE suffering! MORE complications just by LIVING! Specialty boards, fellowship exam, fellowship with no money, more exams, more money needed to establish a practice, more years to spend before actually establishing a practice and then... OLD AGE and DEATH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!
I hereby lay-out the salient points/general updates/spoilers in the DC Univerese.
1. Superman, in the ongoing storyline Grounded, is literally walking across America with each issue set in a different city. He deals with domestic violence, medical emergencies, broken infrastructure, etc. If you think this sounds boring you are absolutely right. Current storyline is just on the 5th of the projected 12 issues. The story should be renamed "Walk Walk Walk. Then Walk."
2. Bruce Wayne is back. You mean he was gone? Yes. For over a year after being blasted by Darkseid and thought dead the Batman cowl was donned by former Robin/former Nightwing Dick Grayson, with Bruce's son Damian Wayne the new Robin. Now Bruce is back after long storylines which saw him travelling through time, so we now have two Batmen. We also now have a Batwoman, practically two Batgirls, two Oracles, a Red Robin, etc. Hungh.
3. Wonder Woman is now sporting black leather pants, a smaller tiara, a leather jacket, and cannot fly. Storyline boring. Its place in the continuity unknown. We presently don't care. But must admit those jumping to reach sidewalk ladders fun.
4. The Justice League is composed of Dick Grayson as Batman, Donna Troy, Jesse Quick, Jade, Congorilla, and Mikhail. If you don't know them, it's because they are B-stringers, if not all together Z-stringers. I usually like groups with lesser known characters in it, but I cannot endure a comic book illustrated by the horrible Mark Bagley. Dapat magsama si Mark Bagley at si...
5. ...Felicia Henderson. She has finally turned over the writing job in Teen Titans to J.T. Krull. Felicia Henderson is the worst comic book writer in all of comic book history. And just in case I haven't said it clearly enough: Felicia Henderson is the worst comic book writer in all of creation, in all 52 multiverses.
See, even in comic book reading I cannot find respite from whinifications.
Went home a couple of weeks ago and noted that what used to be a burned down bank is now a brand new Mini-Stop. This lot has seemingly been abandoned for quite some time, with only the charred remains of the bank and the house that went ablaze a few years ago sitting there. Truly that branch of Mini-Stop should watch out. I foresee that the cashier person would turn left, would turn right, as he hears the pained—or enraged—meeeeeeeeeoowrrrrrs of a cat, only to find that there are just groceries there. Or a few arfs would be heard, the volume of which would escalate and escalate, and the sales clerk would bite his nails in mortification—because there are no dogs anywhere in sight. Because you see inside the house beside the bank was a pet-shop, which also burned to the ground. Poor, poor, poor cats, my heart weeps for the joy you could have given lonely men and women everywhere. Oh yes, dogs too, poor dogs. I’ve told this nasty bit about the pet shop to Mrs. Therese a few years back and she could only scream : EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!
This is henceforth the perfect opportunity to post more pictures of the Red Lantern of Rage cat... Dex-Starr!!! Kawawa naman si Dexter. He used to be just an ordinary tubby but his loving master was killed by thugs and he was put in a sack and thrown to the river, so a red ring of rage swooped down his tail and he becomes the Red Lantern of Rage Dex-Starr!!!! Power: he can vomit red blood-like acidic something which can instantly skeletonize you. We can probably captionize this set of photos as Pusang Virg and Pusang Pa-Virg. Pusang Pa-Virg is also the brainchild of HTGOF, and you should look up Pusang Pa-Virg in Facebook because PPV can dispense love advice like no other.
Pusang Virg Pusang Pa-Virg
Friday, November 26, 2010
I have recently unearthed a photo taken in 2001 in Pangasinan when I, Mrs. Therese, Chel, Jhonhie, Rodky, Groin, and Mae went to Hundred Islands. And just recently I happily had a pornographic photo of myself taken, also in Pangasinan. It's just almost ten years apart, but it's worth a hundred years' worth of innocence and virg lost. For more self-embarrassment.
Monday, November 22, 2010
"Let me check if it's in good condition," I told the cashier as she ripped it open and showed me that it's properly bound and nothing is falling of and there are no creases or thumbmarks or folds or stains or whatever, and I said, "I'm getting it!" But I was slammed as she said, "You only need to buy something else to fulfill the price criteria so you could get our Year Planner or an Umbrella for free!" I couldn't give a crap about any of those things, but I thought Mrs. Therese would like the planner so I said, "Get me an English classic! In particular... Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!!!"
I'm not sure how this mash-up of sorts would work and I'm still in the first page, but the first line seems promising: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of MORE brains”
Also classify under things we're happy you kids no longer have to endure because having to endure things sucks: UP Diliman college registration pila. Wherein you go to CSSP and fall in line for some philosophy class and hope the slots don't run out when it's your turn, then run to the College of Science for some STS or Nat Sci slot, then run to the gym hoping you would at least get a Stretching class, and so forth. Because being a Pre-Rog reeks, with people having to declaim, sing, dance, or draw lots just to get in a class. In my first year I got into Stretching, and it rules. All you have to do is stretch, except I always get screamed at by our prof: No bouncing! I would no sooner be under this monstrous professor again for... Philippine Games. While my batchmates were doing archery, and back flips, and shooting ball, and going to the mountains I was playing... piko. Graded piko at that.
I finally did get some interesting PE class in my last sem, as I was able to get a slot in Bowling. In UP Bowling we get three small balls (duckpin) which we could throw along a sometimes crooked lane. I was no good at all, and I would like to think that I was just being charitable to the poor guy at the end of the lane who puts up all the pins at the end of each throw.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
BOTD: Sino tong may smiley face na may dugo na nakakatakot?
Me: The Comedian!
BOTD: Sino yung may mga inkblot sa muka na nakakatakot?
BOTD: Sino yung blue na nag-goglow na nakakatakot?
Me: Dr. Manhattan!
BOTD: Nandito pala yung babae sa Xena!
Me: Wala! Wala si Lucy Lawless dyan!
And I went on to give my insights on the movie's superhero de-constructive undertones and gave some sort of background on what it was all about and the general atmosphere at the time when Alan Moore was...
BOTD: Pinakasinauna ang mga kanta! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!
Still on the superhero business, so this is your last chance to stop reading if these sorts of things bore you, Dark Knight helmer Christopher Nolan is finally on board to flesh out the new Superman movie, and while this movie would obviously be in good hands I am still sad-- saddeth, for more-- that Routh is no longer in the running as the movie would be a reboot because Superman Returns was deemed a failure. Why. I initially found it to be a bore, but in the greater scheme of things (talagang dapat may pretentious pa-effect na ganito), upon repeated watching Superman Returns is a great, underrated movie and I still get weepy and crap when he makes that soliloquy in the end in front of his kid:
"You'll be different. Sometimes you'll feel like an outcast, but you'll never be alone. You will make my strength your own, you'll see my life through your eyes and your life you'll see through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son."
Oo, hindi ako naiiyak sa mga mass murders and usual family dramas and love stories and such, but I bawl over these sorts of things. AHUHUHUHUHUHU. But as I told BOTD, it's much much easier and faster to type AHAHAHAHAHAH compared to AHUHUHUHUHUHUH. And that's our insight for the day, nothing compared to the Didache of Smoketh, but Smoketh's wisdom is incomparable. And now Supes is flying in the final scene and I'm getting all misty and crap again.
Check-out BOTD's fantastic blog at : http://benefitofthedaw.blogspot.com. For more!
The line to HP1 extended to Jollibee, so I told myself I would make no further attempt to watch the blasted movie (I, because I was alone, ya hear that batchmates, I'm used to watching movies alone!). And just to complete to plan to watch something I checked out what was showing in the cinema across HP1 and what should it be but... Glitter, the one with Mariah Carey in it! I checked the line for HP, took furtive glances to my left, to my right, and when I was sure that no one I know was in sight I went to watch Glitter. It is unintentionally funny, and I was laughing by myself much to the annoyance of the two other people watching who seemed to be really into it.
Which reminds me, I've already blogged about this, so I have officially jumped the shark and am now showing reruns, but this was way back in the Friendster era when, all together now, it still wasn't spammed by invites for a liaison in Ortigas by women in transparent clothes. Must resume attempt to preserve those entries before the site totally crashes.
Nanood kasi kami kanina nina Titi ng isa sa mga favorite movie ko, yung Frailty. Hindi ko alam kung nagkukunwari lang si Titi, pero tuwing may hacking at hitting with blunt objects ay nagugulat at nadidisturb daw sya. Pero okay lang yan, sabi ko kay Titi, dahil sa pelikulang ito, ang hacking at hitting with blunt objects ay utos ng Diyos. Ahahahaha. Dahil dito may aftertaste removal movie bigla, at ito na nga yung Just Like Heaven, kung saan si Reese (close kami) ay doctor in a coma at DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) sya. Isa lang ang moral lesson nito para sa mga doktor: wag kayong basta-basta mag-gigive up just because DNR ang patient, dahil hindi nyo alam, ang pasyenteng DNR ngayon ay pwede nyong... makatuluyan. AHAHAHAHAHAH.
Friday, November 19, 2010
It was in the early 2000 when Callistus and I were gorging ourselves with everything we could stuff ourselves with in Don Henrico's. This was the time when I didn't care about things like gallbladder, stones, and gallbladder stone pains. The best thing to eat there, of course, are the buffalo chicken wings washed in murky ranch dressing. In came two female koreans who stopped by our table, bent over so their faces were near our bucket of chicken wings, and pointed at the food and in high-pitched, bad English said, "What that? That good? That good?!?"
In our heads: Yes, and you now have your spittle on it. Here, have some, or better yet, you can have it all! Here! Eat the chicken wings! Eat the fucking chicken wings!!!
For months I've been bugging Smoketh to blog something, telling her that writing something would buy her ten indulhensya's closer to heaven, promote tree planting, facilitate social equality, and such. The same way I've been bugging Callistus N to revive his blogging career, telling him that writing something again would get him more sexual partners, promote promiscuity, and expose the lewd appetites of our high school classmates. And just a couple of weeks ago, they've finally written their own fantastic blogs and I can say that... I've done my job. AHHAHAAHAHAHA.
Henceforth in the spirit of promotion, head over to http://suckitupeth.blogspot.com. In suckitupeth, Smoketh relates the tribulations of a renal fellow, the wonders of sleeping, and the mortal embarrassment of having zero comments, all with the message that you can whine, you can rant, you can take your mood-modifying drugs, but at the end of the day you should just... suck it up. Or suckitupeth, because it's more fun to say it that way. My description doesn't give justice to her fantastic, heartrending entries, so just head over to her site and drop a comment. Twenty comments. Because no to thero thomments!
Callistus Netromedev has piqued the interest of some people for his groundbreaking rhetoric about getting a bunch of leaves, soaking them in mud, then jerking off with them muddy leaves. Truly his entries are nowhere as lewd as this. In a way he's like a bomba star: you enjoy watching him do nasty things to himself, but if you look closer he's actually a quality indie film actor and would no sooner win... a Famas. Head over to http://callistusnetromedev.blogspot.com and bring your thesaurus/your own fantastic vocabulary!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It is henceforth time to feature our new crop of haiku submissions (some not really meant as submissions, but we want more, MORE!) and our theme for tonight is: Bipolar.
First, we have our new guest BHW who is presently in Tondo teaching kids that smoking is bad. Baaaaaaaad. In this haiku she addresses the general sense of loss, in particular, the loss of money... for lur! Thank you BHW, now lur. LUR!
sweldo ko ay not yet here
sad, sad,sad,sad, boooooooooo
And from HTGOF, SIU, and BOTD, we have this interesting series of haikus, which we are sure will usher in the revolution of haiku as the new way of everyday conversation. We hereby present a group of haiku's we shall call: AHAHAHAHAHA.
tagged you in a post
this is a haiku about
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1. Sino ang umiyak nung open forum last week kung saan ang topic ay "Friendship" dahil sinabihan sya ni Tinya Coli na "Wala kang kaibigan! Wala!!!!"
2. Sino ang umiyak nung Teacher's Day dahil umaasa syang maging father figure ang teacher na ito ngunit narealize nyang pareho lang sila ng totoong tatay nya na hindi nagpapakita ng emotions?
3. Ilan ang umiyak last Wednesday during the open forum about "Acceptance"? (I can still remember the answer to this: a groundbreaking 28! In a class of 40! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
And so on. To their credit my section classmates must have a bizarre sense of humor because they were able to laugh at these things, or they were just afraid of me. My favorite open forum moment, however, would be something about Fecaloid. To illustrate let's pretend that Fecaloid is her real name. She has a sister with a bad rep in the same school, let's call her Fecalitha. Fecaloid was always annoyed because everyone would always point out Fecalitha's misdemeanors to her as if it were her fault, until one open forum Fecaloid couldn't take it anymore.
Fecaloid: Hindi ako si Fecalitha (massive downpour of tears)! Hindi ako si Fecalitha!!!!!
Sister Goz: (Pats Fecaloid on the head) There, there, FECALITHA, there, there.
In all of our heads (even in the heads of those already crying in sympathy): AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Too many stuff to write about,
too many comic book reviews to make,
too many rant rant rant, too many pieces of advice to give the lovelorn,
too many blogs of new bloggers to feature,
too many supposed-witty-funny stuff to regurgitate.
But I can't concentrate, I can't concentrate, I can't string coherent thoughts together, and I don't care if you think this is racist whatever, I can't concentrate,
DAHIL ANG INGAY-INGAY NITONG MGA KORYANO SA TABI KO!!!!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Then she would stare blankly into space.
Truly we were all racing to answer those damn questions for the added points (GC!), at that point in high school those things mattered. Callistus Netromedev, however, couldn't give a fuck, or seven fucks for that matter, for that extra point, as he was always busy observing her as she stared into space. Having run out of lunch conversations he had to bring up: Anong iniisip nya pag nagsea-seatwork tayo? I can't recall exactly who came up with this fantastic answer, could have been Callistus N. himself for all I know, but that someone said, Iniisip nya kung anong ulam mamyang gabi. It's not the wittiest nor the funniest by any stretch of the imagination, but it always drives me insane with laughter. This teacher has henceforth been called ulam. No Ms. or Mrs., just ulam, as in maupo na kayo andyan na si ulam.
And of course, karma is evil, because as I was facilitating the ICU endorsements last week I would catch myself staring into space, thoughts trailing, waiting for an answer to my question oblivious that it has already been answered and four new questions have already been asked in between by Mrs. Therese, Lloydie, and HIV, committing malapropisms, counting those drops as they plopped from the macroset. So in that strange event that one of those students/interns is reading/have wondered what I was preoccupied with, let me say straight out that I wasn't imagining what my ulam would be, in fact these are the probable entangled thoughts I was having then:
- Did I turn off the electric fan?
- If I get a writing job at DC and I would be given a choice, would I rather write The Justice Society of America, Supergirl, or The Teen Titans?
- If I were Burgess Meredith and I were a librarian and I am labelled as obsolete for being a librarian, how would I choose to die?
- Not that I actually did it, but if I were discovered dead due to autoerotic asphyxiation, how would I (or my spirit), feel?
- The song #41 by Dave Matthews just running over and over in my head
- If I send off a group of superheroes into a mission in space, who would Donna Troy bring with her?
- Must... escape.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
1. Again, the dirty walls and the disgusting floor in the boarding house restroom.
2. My Jonah Hex action figure (from the fantastic Showcase line back in 2008) is losing its hat. Now what good is a Jonah Hex action figure without its hat?
3. The two old women beside me are eating yummy-looking Japanese food while I'm subsisting on the smallest Voltage just to get internet access.
4. That I don't have a personal assistant/secretary. Because we should all have one.
5. That all the different charger cords for the phone, laptop, iPod, camera, and PDA always get entangled. ENTANGLED!
6. That we have to pee. Cumbersome.
7. That we can't teleport to the hospital and we need to walk.
8. That in 30 days residency would be over, unless I do something stupid, like kill someone and go to prison, or be caught having sex behind a bush and someone would bring it up on Facebook.
9. That my dad's 60's DC comicbooks wouldn't fit in the usual currently available comic book bags because they are five centimeters wider unless I get those expensive Mylar bags
10. That I can't fly, or become invisible, or read someone's mind.
11. That Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, and all the rest are not real. This is really bumming me out.
12. That there are forms to fill up. FORMS!
13. Cockroaches. Because you step on them and they squirm, they get smooshed, they whine, then they run.
There, that's one million units of shallow, shameful, IV whinings out of my system and into your central line. Because tomorrow should somehow hold some promise that something. I don't know, just something.
I know, the whinifications, whinatologies, and whinaprophisms of a pretend-spartan lifer who indulge in these worldly things, but my Fortress of Solitude was just that, a Fortress, like Superman's, minus the zoo of interplanetary animals, which I also want want want to have, and truly I should punish myself for these selfish, selfish thoughts. And I also want want want to have replicas of the different colored kryptonites, and while I'm at it why not get one of those huge Bat-signals and a giant Penny and a giant dinosaur, but in a few hours I am snapped back into annoying reality because in just a few hours the weekend was over and I was thrown back to the dorm. In a moment of drama I had told Smoketh that as I was taking a bath in the dorm last week (disgusting image, don't try to imagine) and I was sitting on the tiny bangko and I was buhos-ing myself with the tabo and the four walls around me were gross what was running in my head was: huhuhu, sana mayaman ako.
Slap self for shallowness.
Back in college one of my Psych buddies was Krupskaya and I distinctly remember that in two different occasions she had told me that the only thing she really hates are people who are shallow. Oh yes, Krupskaya, I was shallow, punish me, PUNISH ME! For whining at the state of the boarding house bathroom when just a stone's throw away some people are intubated and being ambu-bagged.
A lot of the blogs I read are mostly entitled random thoughts, random this and that, confession this and that. This would qualify as such. But I still like my title This Could Be A Job For Mulder and Scully. I just like Catatonia singing the song in my head.
- · Chocolate house with edible roof, walls, gate, pet dog, etc.
- A plastic bag of sweetened macapuno
- Gucci perfume
- Half-consumed box of Cowhead milk
- Sandwich with Zest-O
- A pack of Marlboro Reds and a Singaporean keychain
- Huge Cadbury bar
- A box of yummy cupcakes
- Goldilock’s Mocha roll
- A huge supot of daing
- A huge supot of mangoes
- A huge supot of rambutan
- Yummy langka-flavored biko
- A bottle of drugs- capsules that contain... biblical passages
- and a whole lot of other stuff
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Suka all over. I know, right.
1. Eye of the Beholder- HIV: "Mas maliit pa ang baywang nung lalake kay Venus Raj!"
2. It's a Good Life- Dondee: "Walang point!!!!"
3. The Hunt- Me: "Ang ganda di ba! Ang ganda di ba! Ang ganda di ba!!!"
4. The Midnight Sun- Renrerenren: "Pinakapawisin ang all!!!"
5. The Howling Man- Tits: "10 minutes na wala pang nangyayari!!!"
End of blog entry.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"Nothing is happening," Tits said after two minutes.
"Shut it, there's a moral lesson at the end," I insisted. And even after everyone got bored with the magnificent, heartwarming (totoo, naiyak ako dito) episode "The Hunt", I tried to persuade everyone to feel the same by screaming "Ang ganda di ba! Ang ganda di ba!"
Back to Harrison's as everyone flipped through the pages on prions and biologic warfare and such.
"Tonight," I said, "we're going to have a quiz... from PEP.ph!!!" This got Tits and Hurricane K's attention. They have the best showbiz quotient amongst all. And I read from the damn website.
"Question number one for one thousand points: Hot news from PEP! BLANK, nakipag-break kay BLANK, sa BLANK."
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Me: You win P400 million pesos and libre ang mangarap, and it is already a given that love, faith, attention, intelligence, breeding, and impeccable English cannot be bought by money and should therefore not come into the equation and the goal is to be totally materialistic, what will you buy?
Smoketh: Right now... I'll quit training.
Me: Me too. Then I'll go to Druid's Keep and buy the entire store.
Smoketh: I'll buy a condo unit.
Me: Or four. Or five.
Smoketh: A unit with a toilet bowl. With a flush.
Me: I'll buy a liver. Two livers.
Smoketh: A room with everything in it.
Me: A room with Gloria Jeans inside and Tin the coffee barista who can make the perfect Voltage.
Smoketh: A personal chef. And for your toys, you can get many eskaparate for your toys.
Me: Walls and walls of eskaparate. And I can pay for sex.
The last one was a bait of course for Smoketh to just rattle off a WAF staple: You don't need to pay for sex. Yes, we need these sorts of affirmations. Having gotten to The Shrine MotherFucker 1 we immediately separated thoughts and immersed ourselves in our own computers. And who should ring Smoketh but DDDD (Dastardly Dude with Delectable Derriere, for those of you who keep tabs). And what should I do but eavesdrop. Conversation went like this:
Smoketh: Tonight's jackpot: P400 million pesos. What will you buy?
This is of course a sign that this is the right time to watch: A Simple Plan! Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Paxton, and Bridget Fonda wherein they find millions of dollars in a plane crash and they all do stupid things. Or maybe we can re-enact it. I'll play Billy Bob, of course. Smoketh would be Bridget Fonda who would say the line: You can kill him... and make it look like an accident.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
And just a couple of weeks ago we turned in our latest draft to Sir Guy Gardner over lunch. With much trepidation I also showed him my illustrations for the booklet.
"Aheheheheh," I sheepishly giggled-mumbled as I noted the elvish ears of the chronic liver disease patient vomiting blood.
(With this Zombaboy pic, I couldn't totally disagree)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
1. Back in Grade 6 when everyone was doing wrestling moves on everyone Alexander the Fifth did a choke hold on Callistus N. Callistus writhed, struggled, whimpered as he turned blue, but in the end only one thing made Alexander the Fifth let him go: Callistus let loose copious amounts of green, viscous, gooey sipon from his nose. With projectile effect. To this day I am not sure if this was a deliberate defense move or a result only of an attempt to breathe.
2. As the editor-in-chief of our school paper back then I told literary editor Callistus to write an engaging literary series which would run through each issue. He turned in an intricate conspiracy story something about the Vatican and high priests and such. I know only of two people who read it, and it doesn't include me. One of them, of course, is Feydruta.
4. Calllistus N. was a major stockholder when we wrote the lampoon, underground, really profane issue of our high school paper and we almost got kicked out when a teacher almost got hold of a copy. Almost, because another trustee, Ruth Marx, would give his life before giving the copy to anyone. Ruth Marx said he would eat the fucking copy to escape persecution. Ruth Marx, I miss Ruth Marx. Callistus and I used to drag him to malls when we would do action figure-hunting, to which Ruth Marx would always remark: "Ayokong sumama sa paghahanap nyo ng tau-tauhan".
5. Back in 2007 I went to Callistus N's birthday party really hungry and ready to eat huge plates of food. There was no food, not a single piece of tokwa. He makes up for it by force feeding me huge plates of food every time we see each other (as he is now crazily rich), including the plates.
Visit Callistus N's blog at http://Callistusnetromedev.blogspot.com!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Wherein I give kudos to the things, people, stuff, and drugs that deserve them this week. Yes, we can transform from P.U.S.S.Y. to posi in a matter of seconds, because lithium rules.
I have long contested that ice scramble with huge amounts of powdered milk (preferably Klim) and brown cow on top is one of the best food around, but it has not really caught on, until some smart entrepreneur brought Manila Scramble to the malls and other stalls and brands started popping up. Stay away from those other toppings, it should just be the pink gunk+milk+brown cow. Or sometimes sago, the tiny ones. Screamingly the mall version tastes exactly like the one in the streets. I've noted that mostly old people eat this while walking in the mall, basically because it inevitably has some memory attached to it. I am not making inarte, but these nostalgic bits always pop in my head as soon as I eat ice scramble: 4th year high school catechism, some guy oblivious to the kulangot atop his lip, circumcision, and 2-peso pizza.
"Your vagina would make kaskas to his batok," I told her while she was lining up in the ATM.
"EEEEEEK!" Thymes screamed. "Don't call it vagina. Let's just use the term papaya for it. Papaya, not vagina."
3. KUDOS to: Mayhem of the Music Meister!
4. KUDOS to: The Human Centipede
Yet another fine choice of movie by HIV, who was also the proponent of Teeth featuring a girl with toothed vagina. This time it's The Human Centipede, featuring a mad scientist who wants to create a human centipede, basically 3 people attached to each other through an ano-oral anostomosis so there's only one long digestive system for all three victims. If this happens to me I demand that I be the guy in front.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
synonymous with eth-dee.
will this ever end?