Neurologist Shipper Jack Knight has recently noted that this blog, which used to be filled with insightful commentaries on human trafficking and other issues, as well as the occasional revolutionary inputs on the nature of quarks and other subatomic particles, prion diseases, and such, has degenerated into a blind item. She hasn’t really used the term degenerated, but I love putting words into people’s mouths. This notion is obviously due to the proliferation of “code names”. I don’t really know what these now-recurring characters think of how I portray them, which is really a non-issue since most of the time they don’t know that they are, for instance, Tessieloopagoop. I mean, who can decipher that.
But these are not mere characters, none of you comments with indignation, they are real people, people who live, breathe, eat, bitch out, whine, fuck, and such. The term “real people” or “isa kang totoong tao” is always a perplexing term/comment, as they of course imply that some of us are alien replicants.
And since none of you requests for this, this is my attempt to flesh them out—in a yearbook format!
• Tessieloopagoop—Tessieloopagoop is a swell girl. She is one of the most reliable chicks around, as I had no one else in mind to ask to cover for me when I had to undergo Whipple’s a few weeks back. This might not be a good thing for her in the long run, as I predict an appendectomy, herniorrhaphy, and brain tumor excision this year. She may look masungit at times, but once you get to know her you would see that she is so kalog pala! OMG!
• Smoketh—Smoketh is a fixture in this blog, as she feeds me something interesting to write about when I run out of things to talk about. If you remember, Smoketh has made her debut (I think) in an entry about me trying to set her up with Grass, who, in a much later entry, she has graded as a negative 6 in terms of being interesting and sexy when she was over him. How totally labile, Smoketh’s taste in men is. Smoketh has volunteered to do the audio version of this blog when it comes out on cassette. She can do the numerous, annoying, “huuuuuuuunghs” and other whines that pepper this infuriating blog.
• Namtab Pots!- who buys everything. He will only buy graphic novels in hard cover, but I one-upped him when I got the Justice Absolute version when he only has the—hee-hee—spartan hard cover versions. He insists on commenting on this blog using the name Callistus Netromedev, but we know very well that he is… Namtab Pots!. Namtab Pots! of course is the spell Zatanna screamed to freeze Batman when he caught them doing magic lobotomy on Dr. Light in Identity Crisis.
• Hurricane Katrina—Was originally called “The Great Mutato” in this blog for no reason whatsoever, but eventually the name Hurricane Katrina beckoned and it was a perfect fit for her. She was the one who drove us through Ondoy in SLEX, and led the pack in running through the flood, her pastel beachwear clothes turning transparent and all in pure magic kamison fashion. Hurricane Katrina’s interests are: financial sponsorship, bible verses, tall men, and the liver.
• Ditz The Titz- Because indeed, she is Ditz The Titz. Back in internship she and I were stuck in the delivery room nursery during fumigation, and out of boredom she raided my mp3’s in my then-alive Zire 72. She has discovered unspeakable songs and berated and laughed at me for 24 hours on end, since no baby was ever delivered. She is now the chief resident of Pediatrics in Jersey Shore in Neptune after defeating Veronica Mars for the position. She had the hots for Michael Scofield, who she claims dibs on as she has discovered him first in that dinosaur TV-movie and the We Belong Together Mariah video. In sheer loneliness she went to a gay bar once in the states where she reveled in the classic Just Another Piece of the Puzzle (not the real title, we’re still trying to figure out what the real title of this Air Supply videoke ditty is).
• Lloydie- an exercise in pointlessness as far as codenaming goes, of course, as he is, indeed, known as Lloydie in real life, being—okay, Lloydie—the more smashing version of John Lloyd. He insists that his excellent looks can be a liability, as he wouldn’t want to be considered and interviewed for chief residency just because of his looks. During the sex scandal craze we demanded that he do a sex video and pass it off as the celebrity’s. He has a way of making landi in his chart entries, writing stuff such as “bundle of care, please”.
I’m suddenly distracted by the revelation that after the Blackest Night series will come… The Brightest Day! Will henceforth spare you the boredom. In future profile entries: Neurologist Shipper Jack Knight! Mrs. Therese! Renton! Dondee! Graciepoopieloop! Vampirella!