Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Splatter, Splatter

And on my face, a blotch of coagulated blood. I don’t know how it got there, all I know is I haven’t checked the mirror for almost an entire day and nobody pointed it out, but there it was, a huge cake of cracking solidified blood which I scraped out unmindingly before thinking it could be someone else’s blood. I do these things without thinking first—around fifteen years ago I was so fascinated to see a strip of plastic covered in poop and blood sticking out of our cat’s ass that I pulled it out with my bare hands. Since I was on ICU duty I tried to recall who could possibly be spouting blood, and realized that any one of them could have thrown a gob from their tracheostomies.

And just a couple of days ago I texted Achtung Baby without being PC—dinudugo ka pa? And this morning, what should I have for breakfast but the wonderful dinuguan from COOP. Dinuguan from COOP always reminds me of our internship rotation in rehab. I would eat it while yakking away with Smoketh, Achtung Baby, Len Len, and Roxy Lim, which would be followed by a block screening of Saw II. Saw II is rather inferior to the excellent Saw I but still wonderful in its own right, as it features Saw I survivor Amanda being thrown in a vat of cap-less syringes. Amanda would later turn out to be a total bitch.

Back in clerkship during our anesthesiology rotation I was stuck in that small room in the delivery room with the anesthesiologist-on-duty, and the two of us were watching a DVD of Monster starring an uglified Charlize Theron who would fuck truck drivers and kill them. “Ay, parang… parang… Tagos ng Dugo,” anesthesiology resident said. “Pero baka hindi mo alam yun, masyado ka pa bata nung ipinalabas yun.”

“You mean Tagos ng Dugo starring Vilma Santos as a stripper who would kill anyone whenever she sees blood in the vicinity?!” I said in excitement, although maybe not in that cinematic manner. Of course I know Tagos ng Dugo, I was watching it in RPN 9 or was it IBC 13 as I was lying down on our humongous family bed covered by a humongous kulambo, which we used to call Noah’s Ark because my parents and all us 3 kids were sleeping there. Tagos ng Dugo used to give me nightmares. Only because of the implications of the regularity of killing—I can’t recall exactly, but I guess she would go out and kill someone whenever she was having regla.

Submucous myoma would be massacre.

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