Saturday, November 6, 2010

The AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Awards

I know that in the spirit of BOTD I always scream AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (insert more AHAHAHAHAH’s here) in my blog entries when I don’t do it in real life, so I hereby present the AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH winners for the month (parang hindi related ang 1st and 2nd part of the sentence, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!) These are not necessarily universally funny (disclaimer agad), but I found them AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHAH-worthy at the time.

1st Prize
Was in GJ’s squeezing my brains out on what was happening to one of our ICU patients that I just wanted to scream with Smoketh: HINDI KO ALAM ANG NANGYAYARI SA PASYENTE!!!! and I imagine that when the relatives ask me what is happening to the patient I would scream along with Smoketh: HINDI PO NAMIN ALAM!!!!! when I suddenly received a call from none other than Smoketh herself quite frantic. “We’re in deep shit,” she said. “Nobody—NOBODY!!!—was able to elicit that that patient is a readmission, that the diarrhea is not acute but is in fact… chronic!!! We have to investigate how the past… is connected to the… present!!! To the batcave!!!”

It was, in fact, HTGOF who was able to make the connection, “Oh that patient, yes, I had that patient last month,” she said matter-of-factly as she munched on some fries. We finally convened in Gloria Jeans and frantically called everyone.

“Lloydie!!!” I screamed. “That patient was your patient last month. Yes, agree, rummage through your old census and check each name and check old labs!!!”
“ALLEN!!!” I screamed, making another call, “do this lab test now!!! Re-history for risk factors!!!”
“Jaimeloopagooparoop!!!” Smoketh screamed over the phone, “Yes, that’s right, etc etc etc, he was your patient last month, yes, I think, ano, yes, agree, we need to check your old entries, wait, are you puffing while you’re on the phone? I can hear puffing. Yes I’m puffing too. I’m puffing hard. Because we’re in deep sheeeeeeeeth!”

Woke up early the next morning and ran—RAN!!!—to the patient. That was it, I thought, the missing link, the puzzle piece that wouldn’t fit, the cog that wouldn’t move, the crap that wouldn’t plop, that was it, oh thank you HTGOF, thank you!!!! I screamed in my head as I ran—RAN!!!—to the patient.

And then we finally confirmed it. Iba yung patient. Ka-rhyme lang ang apelyido.
All together now: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

2nd Prize
There is no 2nd prize. That was the only thing I found funny this month. Which was not even really funny in the spirit of being funny, more like funny only as a way to cover up the sadness of the whole situation. How sad. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
More lithium!

3 comments:

BOTD said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. dapat may ganito every month for mooooooooore. ang dami ko atang ganito for the past years. buth. i must say...pang 1st prize talaga ang kwentong ito! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

kaye said...

ahahahahahhaha! had me in stitches as I imagined you running frantically to the patient. :-D

HTGOF said...

you guys suck! just because wala kong time to blog MY VERSION of the story. ahahahahaha just kidding. tawa ako ng tawa sa restaurant while reading this was going to make a witty commenth and then... naputol ang wifi na nasagap sagap ko lang!!! and now wala na kong maisip na witty. AHAHAHAHAHA na lang. major major ahahahaha!