Monday, July 11, 2011

Negasonic Superhuman Crapahoola

Someone has created a Facebook account for our batch UP Medicine class 2006, which caused a deluge of photos. Let it be known that I hate first year medicine. Hate it. Like hell. The set-up was annoying, the schedule was annoying, I was not mentally well. First year med is one of those things that no amount of nostalgification/sepiatification can make it seem better or happier, because it’s quite hateful. The only bright spots in there were my anatomy groupies who were quite a riot, and my dorm neighbors who would give me rice, press my clothes, tolerate the music playing loudly from my room, and indulge my dream to acquire a Bat Signal. It was, at least, uphill from that year, as things started to get more fun and less neurotic the succeeding years.

The pics reminded me all of a sudden of our Physio-Biochem group. May ganun-ganun nga pala. Apparently we had to do some study of sort then, or something like that. All I remember is that it involves rats. In the group I was one of The Assets, ie, the ones who volunteered to do manual labor so we didn’t have to think. I would carry rat cages from one table to the next, volunteer to label stuff, and other blue collar stuff. Anything, just so I wouldn’t have to think. We have to be smart sometimes and reserve our heads for more important things, like figuring out the whole Phoenix-Dark Phoenix-Jean Grey-Jean Grey Manifestation-Madelyne Pryor web of crap.

In one such manual labor occasion The Assets forced a huge white rat in the supine position and tied all four extremities such that it was spread-eagled. I don’t know why. The huge white rat squirmed and squirmed and tried to escape from being tied in all fours. Negasonic Superhuman Crapahoola then ordered me… to slice the belly vertically. And so I did, like a Nazi. I thought the rat was properly sedated, but as soon as I sliced the belly open all sorts of rat intestines sloshed out like a good morning appendix. Rat woke up, maximally bent forward… and munched at its own fucking intestines.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” we all screamed. 
“Abort! Abort!” Negasonic Superhuman Crapahoola ordered.
In my head: How.
“Abort! Abort!” Negasonic Superhuman Crapahoola ordered.
 Since then we changed our subjects from live rats with emotions into emotionless balut. I think we had to count the blood vessels on the amnion or SOMETHING. Or maybe I’m just mixing things up.

4 comments:

ANL said...

Sino ka-group mo sa Physio/Biochem? Sina Aimee Lou ba??
You owe me for life for the pressed uniforms and the free rice! Miss you!

will said...

hindi, sila ferdie and jean. wait may kwento pala ako sa yo! AHAHAHAHAAHA send ko sa yo sa facebook.

NSJK said...

pero hindi sila si negasonic superhuman crapahoola! although they were part of my differentials. daming contenders actually for the NSC title. silang mga non-assets!

i would have wanted to say that in the continuum of live rats with emotions to emotionless balut, eh mas lifeless pa ang tamagotchi. but i realized na lifeless as they are, eh napaka-emotional ng mga tamagotching yan! kailangang pakainin at patulugin at linisan. hmph!

will said...

i know nagpapakaemotional in fact to the level na kailangang sila ang topic ng one whole sem of research! ahaahahahhaha. mas madaming non-assets kesa sa mga assets hahahhaa