Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Gunk

After taking strong, bitter coffee at five in the morning I rushed to the bus stop and dozed off a few minutes after taking my seat and paying. I woke up somewhere in Quirino, only to feel something crawling up my left leg inside my jeans. It crawled up, up, up, until it reached my thigh. The bus is decrepit and obviously harbors all sorts of bugs, so I squirmed and squirmed and squirmed as I realized it could only be my personal nemesis, the cockroach, who found the perfect opportunity make me look like an idiot as I squirmed and squirmed and squirmed as I tried to make it pagpag down my leg which was quite impossible as it was a fairly tight pair of jeans, so I squirmed, etc.

I had no choice. The cockroach was rapidly climbing the region no cockroach should ever climb. So as soon as I felt its body's outline under my pants in the thigh area, I squished it. Yes, I fucking squished it, and I heard the crackly squish and felt the squishy goo as the cockroach bleeping died!!! Now that it was immobile it was only a matter of making pagpag my leg and it rolled down and fell on the floor. There it was, the dead brown cockroach with tan stripes, squished as fuck.

Normally I would freak out inside my head, as nothing elicits a supersonic girly scream from me other than cockroaches. Specially those that fly and those with moving antennae. However, the situation required me to be calm, or else I would have looked like a frantic character about to die in the movie Saw, and the cockroach would have succeeded in making me look like a frantic character about to die in the movie Saw. The bus finally came to a stop in Pedro Gil, I leisurely ate breakfast in McDo while using their WiFi to receive the lavish gifts Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore and Smurfbarry have given my Snoopy's Street Fair, all the while trying to ignore the icky gunky feel on my thigh. I then walked back to my dorm, took off my pants and told myself as I looked at my bare thigh: Now THAT is gunk.

9 comments:

Allison Quicoy said...

YAAAAAKKKK. Darn this imagination (in bluray!!!), I saw it! I felt it! Yaaaaaakkkkk.

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will said...

why thank you anthony

JayR said...

sir ako may nakatabing ahas sa community. AHAHAHA!

will said...

ahahahahah ang dami ngang snakes sa community!

HTGOF said...

Slow clap... This blog is a masterpiece. A masterpiece! Seriously this happened? Like there was ipis gunk on your singit?!

will said...

hindi naman umabot sa singit ahihihi, kaya ko ci-nrush para di na umabot dun. hanggang upper thigh lang. pinaka sinauna at madumi yung bus na sinasakyan ko. pag inayos mo yung overhead aircon ay mababagsakan ka sa muka ng uling powder.

Lalaloo said...

Nakakatawa na Eeeeeew! Ahahahaha. Sorry.

John Calica said...

The same thing happened to me sa UP Theater! We were about to watch one of those non-events when I felt something crawling up my leg and guess what? I squished it, too! Kase may ka-date ako nun! Ahahaha