Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Bright Orange Envelope of DEATH!

Recently gave Helliza an orange plastic envelope containing around ten 10000IU enoxaparin syringes. Helliza was in a state of severe emotional distress brought about by strange happenings in the wards we used to call S.A.T. An S.A.T is a patient's medical condition for which we have no explanation whatsoever. Smoketh and I used to scream this in the ER (secretly, in our heads) when we could not figure out what was happening to a patient, so all together now: Shet, ano to!!!

Frantically Helliza ran back to the wards with the bright orange plastic envelope. "Be warned, Helliza," I warned her. "Whenever I used the enoxaparin from that envelope, the patient died. Three people used that and in a day or so they met their maker!" Lightning, thunder, muzak. Of course it could be argued that in all the instances that we've used the drug the patients were already deteriorating, necessitating the drug in the first place, but still, we could not discount the notion that this could be the BRIGHT ORANGE ENVELOPE OF DEATH!!!

But truly there was no time for superstitious nonsense, specially since enoxaparin is quite expensive. If I remember correctly a 6,000 IU preparation of the brand Clexane costs around a thousand. There used to be a cheaper brand, called Clexa, which sounded like it would go well with Mineropenem. The ones I had were donations I think from overseas, and the preparation would allow each syringe to be used in two doses. With this in mind Helliza dashed to the patient, then accompanied the patient to the 2d-echo, intubated her, started her on inotropes...

That night Helliza called to say that the patient died. For more, she said that in the hurly-burly of things the envelope disappeared. She searched all over the wards, in every nook and cranny, every crevice, but the bright orange envelope could no longer be found. She was able to get only one syringe.

"Let it be. It is an orange envelope of doom that should never be found," I said.
Which suddenly reminded me, written on the orange envelope is my name. If anybody found it don't return it to me, throw the damn thing away. THROW IT AWAY!!!!!!! Or donate it to patients with excellent prognosis to begin with.

6 comments:

NSJK said...

DDx for S.A.T.
1. DKA - Di Ko Alam
2. TIA - T*** I*** Arte

BOTD said...

hahaha. doom doom doom!

will said...

NSJK! ahahahahah madami akong ganyan.
BOTD! death! death! death! DEATH all around!

BOTD said...

omg i have update! a batchmate of mine suddenly exclaimed sa callroom...OMG biglang ang dami daming enoxaparin sa ref ng mga narnians!!!! and then i go and say....OMG WAG MO GAMITIN YAAAAAAN! IT's from the bright orange envelope of DEAAAAAAAATH! ahahahaha. strangely. ndi ko alam ano nangyari sa bright orange envelope.

HTGOF said...

Gawa kang story about the10 enoxaparin recipients. Naclangclang level!

will said...

ahahahahha so ang ninakaw pala ay ang... envelope! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA